I need to learn to be more selfish.

I know that being selfish is not something that one normally tries to be, but I'm really thinking that it's time for me to look into it. For as long as I can remember, I have been sacrificing things to make other people happy. Most of the time I really don't mind, I like making others happy, especially people who are close with me. But I've come to realize that I hardly ever look out for myself. Ever. I'm so concerned with doing what's best for others that I hardly make any effort to get what I really want. I feel that I'm always the one who's trying the hardest, and even though I like being a good person, sometimes I want to put the effort into getting what I really want and not feeling bad about it. Everyone else I know has no problem doing what's best for them, so I think it's time that I do the same. I'm 20 years old, and now is the time for me to start making life better for myself and not being too concerned about how this effects others. Now, I'm not going to become a jerk and stop helping my friends and family when they need me, but I need to start looking out for me. I really don't want to upset anyone in the process, but sometimes that happens when you try to get what you really want. I don't want to upset others because that upsets me, so I'll just have to be careful about how I go about this new task of looking out for me. I know now is the time to start learning how to live and make myself happy.

"I am a Band-Aid"

I am a Band-Aid. At some point you will need one. You will need one because we are helpful and come in all types. We can make you feel well, and help you forget about certain worries. We can stick with you for as long as you'd like. But eventually, you will no longer need me and no longer want to be stuck with me. You will rip me off and throw me away knowing that if you need another Band-Aid, I'll be easy to replace. Some Band-Aids will be needed longer than others, but in the end, they're not going to be stuck with you forever. All Band-Aids are great at first, but over time they start to fade.


I don't feel this way, but this was a thought that kept popping into my head and I wanted to write it down. I think at some point we've all felt similar to this writing. Be it in a romantic relationship, a friendship, or working at some job. Something to think about I guess.

How will you know, and when is too soon?

If you're lucky enough to have certain powerful emotions come over you at some point, how can you be sure what it is or what it means? And even if you're able to figure out meaning in said emotions, you're stuck wondering if the emotions are justified by a certain amount of time, experience, and gut feelings. Trying to make sense of this is bittersweet, but if you're in a situation like this, I'd say you're in a very happy place in your life.

The Evolution of my Musical tastes.

Now, I will start off by stating that I have very very diverse musical tastes, and I don't listen to only one type of music, But I've noticed that what I mainly listened to 5 years ago has changed quite a bit compared to what I listen to now. 5 years ago I mostly listened to 90's rock music acts like Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Soundgarden, Alice in Chains, Weezer, ect, but I also listened to a lot of 70's and 80's rock music. I learned to play guitar and drums, and I was starting bands and playing a lot. I was really only interested in guitar driven rock music back then. I still really enjoy that type of music, and I still love those bands, but my ears started to want to hear different things. I got really into any music that had a good melody. Melody is always going to be what's most important to me. Kurt Cobain was a firm believer in the importance of melody over everything else, and I couldn't agree more. I got really into bands like the Goo Goo Dolls, (both their old punk/alternative stuff and their pop music) and The All American Rejects. Bands that really incorporated strong melodies. But I'm also drawn to anything that is unique and completely original. The Pixies are very original and weird, but they also write really good pop songs. One of my favorite bands is the Dave Matthews Band, because of the incredible amount of musical talent that those guys have and the strong song writing. DMB is both unique and original and full of great melody. DMB also opened my ears to types of jazz music, and I'm really happy about that. Jazz is totally American and totally awesome. I listen to so much music these days. Punk rock music, jam rock music, pop, Hip Hop, R&B, classic rock, Jazz, folk, alt-folk, anti-folk, ska, reggae, Metal, you name it. Really my ears are open to anything, but if the music breaks my rules for bad songs, then not so much.

Rules to write bad music.

1 - a chorus that has too many words. *Example, almost anything that Daughtry writes* Lots of amazing songs have little to say in the chorus, such as most Beatles songs.

2 - Trying to hard to be unique and different. You know how sometimes things don't work out because you tried to force it? A lot of songs get turned into crap because of that.

3 - Metal Bands that try to be "Heavy." Now let me try to explain. There is a big difference between being Heavy, and being Metal. "Nothing to say" by Soundgarden, whoooo that song is heavy as heavy gets. "Slave to the Grind" by Skid row, is a Metal song. "Dazed and confused" by Led Zeppelin is heavy, Metallicas "enter sandman" is metal. Metal bands should stick to being metal, and leave the heavy stuff to bands who can actually write it.

All in all, I love music. Music is what drives me, and I feel that listening to many types of music makes me a better musician overall. Do any of you listen to the exact same music that you did 5 years ago? It's okay if you do, but try to listen to other stuff as well. It'll do you some good.

I gots me a kitten.

So on Friday night/Saturday I went with Bailey to re roof his Grandmothers house in Commanche TX. We arrived there about 2 am and got up to start work at 6. It was pretty warm out, but it wasn't humid out and there was a good breeze. It was actually kinda fun, and I learned how to roof a house. His grandmother had some kittens she was giving away so I took one home with me. I didn't know what the sex of the kitten was so for a while i just called it kitty. After i got home me and my Dad and our neighbor Gentry went to Dallas to see Motley Crue. That was an awesome concert, but the sound from the lawn wasn't so great, so I went past the security to get to the front. THAT was awesome. So after all of that I was really tired, so when i got home i went right to bed. The next day I played with the kitten, and i figured out that she was a girl and i named her Lily. BUT later i figured out she was a HE and I re named him Marshall. Sunday I helped my friend Blake do some moving, and that combined with the weekend of roofing totally drained me physically. I've been really tired today. I saw my friend loren bush this weekend as well. She was in town so i went to see her and her bf and her dad. We hung out and played guitars all night and it was a blast, and i'm glad i met her and we became friends. Valorie has been outta town this weekend in San Diego, but i'll be seeing her soon and I'm excited :) Well, that basically sums up the weekend, I'll blog more later.

Another new apartment.

On Saturday I moved into my NEW new apartment. It's a mile up the road from my old place, and I still live in the awesomeness that is Arlington. The new place is a bit smaller, but it's very cozy. I've decorated some of it and I like the way it's starting to look. I'm going to miss my old place a bit because it became home to me and I had some pretty nice memories there, but I'm looking forward to making some nice memories here too. I've had a lot on my mind lately, and I dunno why. Some days I'm really happy, and others I feel really odd. Hopefully things will settle down soon enough and I'll stay happy all the time :)